Barriers to Recovery from Alcoholism / Addiction

There are three phases to alcoholism-addiction, in terms of readiness for recovery. First of all, we are content with our substance use, usually in denial about addiction to it, and we don't want to quit -- even if we could. Second, we become aware of the negative effects it's having on our lives, we begin to feel physically, mentally, and spiritually sick, and we realize we need to stop our substance use. In this phase, we cling to the belief that we can quit by ourselves, despite multiple failures at it. We "cherry-pick" small amounts of help, but we still need to be in control. Third, we become so desperate to quit that we are finally ready to admit that we are unable to do it ourselves and are willing to surrender to help. We have reached our "bottom."


The barriers to readiness to accept help are mostly psychological. Alcoholism/addiction is very much driven by the disordered thought processes that are part of the disease. This disordered thinking encourages us to continue drinking or using.

Keeping the door open

There is an inherent drive in alcoholic-addicts to "keep the door open a crack." This means keeping the option of picking up drugs or alcohol "just in case." Just in case we have a stressful day, or it ends up being too hard going without it. Only when an alcoholic-addict is ready to close this door completely will recovery be possible. Any time we leave that door open, even just a crack, we will always end up going through it eventually, usually before very long. Leaving the door open a crack can mean leaving our dealer's number on our phone, not telling our family and friends that we are committed to quitting, returning to places or situations where we drank or used, and holding ourselves back from full commitment to a program of recovery. A part of this holding back, leaving the door open, has to do with being overwhelmed by the thought of life without our security blanket of our drug. We don't see how it's possible. See my post about this (I'm Overwhelmed!) Click Here

"I got this!"

There is a highly characteristic quirk of psychology that we see in virtually all alcoholics and addicts. They need to be in control, even when their life is spirally out of control. When they come to a point where they want top stop drinking or using they have to be in charge of it, and do it their way. They may "cherry-pick" some help here and there, but they always have to be in charge. And they fail, time after time. Anyone who has a loved one who is an active addict or alcoholic has likely heard them "this time I'm quitting for good!" "I got this!" And we know how that ends up. This need to be in control is part of the disease, but it's also related to a need to keep that door open, as we just discussed. I do a lot of service work at a detox facility and I see hundreds of people who are desperate to get off drugs or alcohol, but not quite ready to "let themselves go" - to commit 100% to a program of help that can help them get sober. We see the same people coming back into detox in deathly shape time and time again until one day they just get it and let go. At that point we usually see a miraculous change as they finally find sobriety and life again.

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Feeling deserving of recovery

A feeling of worthlessness, of being undeserving of a happy life can be a major barrier. We have done some pretty bad things while drinking and using, and may even have resorted to unspeakable things to support our habit, especially during blackouts. Forgiving ourselves is not easy to do, but it is essential. Otherwise we will not see ourselves as worthy of the effort and all the cruel mental clutter will keep us drinking and using. See my post on self-forgiveness for more information on this. Click Here One thing that every alcoholic/addict needs to learn is that all those awful things we did and said, all those people we hurt, all the things we lost, all fall under the umbrella of our affliction. We are not bad people, we are good people who are sick. As a doctor I can reassure all readers: alcoholism and addiction are a disease of biology, not a failing of morality!

Mental health and alcoholism/addiction

Mental health issues are commonly entangled with addiction to alcohol and drugs, and must be addressed along with the substance problem. Most are easily treated, but many among us don't stand a chance at recovery until we have our underlying mental health problem addressed. Conversely, mind-altering substance abuse can prevent medical treatments for mental health problems from working. The two go hand-in-hand. Mental health problems and addictions share remarkably similar causes genetically, and in terms of the brain chemistry involved. They also share many symptoms in common. No wonder they are so inter-related. See my post on the link between mental health and alcoholism/addiction. Click Here

Learned helplessness

Hopelessness can prevent us from seeking sobriety, especially those of us who have lost much in terms of health, relationships, and material possessions. However, it has been the wide experience among people who have found sobriety that these things return in an uncanny way once we are sober and living again. Most of our recorded data comes from people in the Twelve Step program, but there appears to be value in getting sober for ourselves, and not for the sake of getting things back, and these things will return on their own, as long as we are working a solid recovery. Alcoholics and addicts fall into a mind-set that the psychologists call learned helplessness. This is when our problems become so difficult in our mind that we feel there is nothing we can do to help them. Of course, while we are drinking and using our problems accumulate and worsen, and we are somewhat helpless. Then, we come to the mind-set that we can only just lay down and accept all our problems and allow them to accumulate. This learned helplessness applies to our belief in our ability to get sober, because we have tried so many times to do it our way and have failed. We become convinced there is no way out. I am a doctor and psychotherapist and I was definitely in a state of learned helplessness while I was in my drinking and using days. My knowledge didn't help me one bit.

How do we become ready to quit?

If we are trying to help a loved one get free of drugs or alcohol, we can't force them into it. We can best help by trying to keep them safe, and by helping them to move to the mindset of readiness to accept help. Talking through the above barriers with the alcoholic/addict who is willing to listen helps. We need to show an understanding of their affliction, and understand that alcoholics-addicts can't "just stop (we really hate it when people say that to us). They need to understand that they can't do it on their own, their way, because that has failed them many times (see my post on "The Insanity of Alcoholism/Addiction Click Here). I recommend the Twelve Step programs as the way to sobriety, because of it's huge and active support system, and because it directly addresses all the pathological psychology that is behind alcoholism and addiction. As a psychotherapist I can say that it is the most effective and robust form of psychological therapy I have ever seen. It's genius is evident in its impressive track record over the last 80+ years. As well, the scientific research has upheld its effectiveness as the foremost method of achieving lasting sobriety. Starting out with a week in a detoxification facility is a good way to start, because it allows us to withdraw safely, and it removes us from our immediate situation. Once we have a clear mind, we can decide on where too go form there. Whatever method you choose, I just want you sober and living life again. Talk it over with your doctor and your family.