Relapse Dreams

We work every waking moment to remain sober, but what about when we are asleep? Are we safe when we are asleep? Many in recovery are bedeviled by dreams of relapse. These dreams are among the most vivid and intense of any, people wake up feeling like they really did relapse. Nightmares can be vivid and affect us physically, but they pale in comparison to relapse dreams. People will actually taste their substance when they awaken. Some report waking up feeling drunk/high or hung over. Some are left with a powerful desire to drink or use. Even the emotions of relapse are there: guilt and shame over the event, and fear of relapse. These are powerful dreams. And scary.

Relapse dreams occur most frequently during detoxification and in early sobriety, and they tend to sharply decrease in frequency as we progress in sobriety, especially after the first six weeks. However, they can persist for a lifetime, albeit usually only occurring occasionally. One unfortunate peculiarity, however, is that although they decrease in frequency they do not decrease in intensity and believability. We can experience them just as vividly decades after our last drink or drug as we did when we were detoxifying.

What do these dreams mean?

Theories abound about dreams, as we have no way of proving certain aspects of dreaming. I quite disagree with some ideas about them, such as that they are a reflection of our anxieties, or that they were brought on by some subconscious desire to relapse. My professional opinion is that they are not indicative of anything we have been doing wrong in our recovery.

Research has shown that the more relapse dreams we have the more likely we are to relapse⁴. However, the earlier a person is in recovery the more frequent the dreams, so obviously people early in recovery are at higher risk of relapse either way. Having said that, it certainly makes sense that they can trigger a relapse because people sometimes wake up from them with an urge to relapse.

We must temper this concern with the fact that people usually report a deep sense of relief at realizing that the dream was not real, and thankfulness to be still in sobriety. Even then, however, the dreamer is quite shaken by the experience. Regardless, these dreams are not a sign of impending relapse and reading too much into them can be harmful.

Looking at some dream theories can help prove my point. The most famous dream theory is that of Sigmund Freud, the notorious Neurologist (contrary to popular belief, he was not a Psychiatrist) who brought us “penis envy” and “anal-retention.” Freud theorized that dreams are expressions of subconscious desires that we wish to see fulfilled, and that our dreams are packed with symbolism that can be interpreted by a process similar to reading Taro cards. Today, his dream theories are widely discredited, and rightfully so. If dreams were expressions of our deepest desires all my dreams would be of cruising the Caribbean on a beautiful private yacht.

Sleep experts widely discredit the idea that our dreams are packed with disguised meanings. Another theory that I don’t believe deserves any credit is the “dreams-for-survival” theory, which posits that dreams are our brain’s way of telling us information that is vital for our day-to-day survival. It just doesn’t pass the common-sense test for me. I do, however, feel that dream researchers are spot-on with the Activation-synthesis theory.

This suggests that our brains produce random electrical discharges while we sleep, perhaps brought on by particular neurotransmitter changes (when it comes to relapse dreams, could this be our dopamine again, or our desire for dopamine?), and these impulses stimulate memory pathways and thought pathways in our brain. Our brains then weave these thoughts and memories together into some kind of coherent story (our dream). Any brain pathway can be stimulated, which is why our dreams can be bizarre combinations of random memories, abstract thoughts, and imagination.


Our drinking and using memories are of events on which we were intensely focussed – our drinking or using had become our main focus in life – and that have been repeated multiple times, so the memory pathways involved are deeply ingrained. When one of these random electrical discharges hits that memory pathway it plays the whole memory rather than skipping around to a number of different memories and patching them together, as in a normal dream.

Think of the memory pathways related to our drinking and using as deep grooves in our memory banks, like a deep scratch on a record. When the needle hits that groove it gets stuck in it and follows it all the way to the end. Thus, the relapse dream is deep and vivid and complete – tastes, smells, emotions, hang-over, everything is there. Of course, the more prominent pathways are affected most, which is why our relapse dreams decrease as our memories of drinking decrease as we progress in our sobriety.

Can we stop these dreams?

Using “remember-when” meditation (spending time remembering the misery of our drinking/using days) to engage the “creative-imagination” and “interference” characteristics of our memory (covered in an up-coming post) to make that groove less and less deeply cut will actively reduce our vulnerability for relapse dreams. Although there is no direct research that I know of that confirms that last statement, it makes perfect physiologic sense to me.

So, you can see that relapse dreams are the result of random electrical discharges that happen to hit a deeply ingrained memory, so I will repeat myself: do not read too much into a relapse dream; they are not an expression of any desire to relapse, even if they do result in thoughts of relapsing. Believing that they do reflect a desire leads a lot of us in recovery to avoid bringing it up at a meeting or with our sponsor (if we are part of a recovery fellowship), and can cause us undue anxiety over fears of impending relapse.

Our secrets put us at risk of relapse, especially the ones related to our substance, and we must not allow these dreams to become a secret. If we fear that our dream is an expression of a hidden desire to drink or that it precedes a relapse, our fear can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. So, we need to get it out in the open and off our chest.

What should we do after a relapse dream?

It is important that we call our sponsor, or another trusted friend in recovery, when we wake up from a relapse dream. It helps put things back in perspective and allows us to get the experience off our chest. Most likely, they have had them too. We must use these dreams, when they occur, to reaffirm that we are powerless over substances of abuse. We must take the relapse dream as a powerful reminder that no matter how far we are into our recovery, we remain powerless over our addiction. Certainly we wake up feeling very powerless after such a dream. Reaffirming our powerlessness also helps us to engage our recovery tools to address the after-effects of the dream. I would also suggest going to meetings and sharing about the dream, and engaging the support system – especially there is any lingering fantasy of drinking or a “weird” feeling (as I have heard it described), or even shame or guilt left over from the dream. No use being powerless over a dream.

No use allowing an unwanted dream to derail our amazing reality.



To learn more about the science and psychology of addiction and recovery, and to understand why alcoholics and addicts behave the way they do, see the author's book The Alcoholic / Addict Within.

Available for sample or purchase in paperback and ebook editions at amazon.com (Click Here).